H2O- future OB-GYN

I just love my unconventional students. Nothing against the boring ones that turn in their homework and stand in line and tuck in their shirts- I just wish they would climb a cabinet or develop a perseveration every once in a blue moon.

So, another H2O story.

At the end of a hairy day shortly after school resumed in January, I lined up the rugrats at the door for dismissal and their daily pep-talk.

Me: "Listen up, folks! Tomorrow is a NEW day. A day where I will not give the same direction to six different children regarding tipping in your chairs- if I tell Very Young Boy that he may not tilt in his chair, then by golly Confused Girl, don't stare directly at me while tipping in your chair. You know what I'll say."

Confused Girl: "Mrs. Clarateaches, I like your shirt. And your hair."

Me: "Thank you, CG- but please tell me what I just said about tipping in your chair."

Confused Girl: "Mrs. Clarateaches, how come you said 'your chair'?"

During this dizzying exchange, H2O, who was the line leader for the week, was busily patting my belly as though he had a small fire to put out. His head was tilted to one side, and he was smiling and nodding slowly like he was involved with an engaging conversation with my belly button. This would have been disconcerting without the Amelia Bedelia pattering of Confused Girl, but together the effect was really quite something.

Me: "H2O, why in the name of all that is holy are you manhandling me?"

H2O: *great big grin* "I'm petting your baby!"

Hooooooo boy.


How the heck did he know?


That's right, readers. I am currently gestating. Clarateaches Jr. will arrive sometime mid-July, and is currently at 16 weeks. That means he/she/ dear God them? is the size of a large avocado right now. At the time of H2O's mysterious voodoo though, I wasn't really showing, and had no real intentions of telling the class until it was fairly obvious.

The line exploded.

Theological Boy: "Nuh-uhhh, No she's not..."

Super Girl: "Can I see it?"

Confused Girl: "Baby Jesus?"

So, I told them that sometime after we closed shop for the summer, I would be having a baby. And ever since then, I've been fielding questions about when I'm going to bring my baby in. I keep telling them to just wait until I'm large enough to take someone out with one turn of my belly. After all, they're about that height.