Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cricket... Cricket...

Ahem. Is this thing still on? I haven't posted in a while, mostly because my superpowers have been needed elsewhere. There is never a lack of things to accomplish.

I've also found myself in sort of a test pattern mode, thought-wise. Election dronings, economic "bovine feces," and other loud repetitive noises have killed my inspiration. I did have one thought that has been bouncing around for about the past 24 hours- what if people didn't vote for the candidates, but voted on the actual issues instead? Instead of flicking the switch for "Beavis" or "Butthead," in other words, there were the actual issues laid out in a simple, easy to understand, agreed upon by the candidates format. Perhaps the main twelve. Economics- do you lean towards a top-down, or a bottom-up method? Check here. Oil- do you want to drill, or don't you? Check here. The issues get tallied, and he/she that most matches the ideals of what people are looking for is voted in. Too difficult for someone to figure out? No voting for you, then. That method takes wayyyy too long! Huh. Well, crap. You mean it won't give us the results as fast as American Idol? Bummer, dude. Guess we can't do it that way. Besides, how will we know which ones are the good guys, and which are the bad ones?

But, what the hell do I know, anyway? I can't even figure out the daily mysteries I encounter. While sorting laundry to be cleaned, I found myself staring at a button-down shirt of Mr. Clarateaches this morning, wondering, "How on earth did he get out of this shirt? It's still buttoned! With a tee shirt still inside of the shirt!" I'd probably still be kneeling on the floor attempting to figure it out, but Gianna decided to scrub down the dog with some underwear and enlightenment was never achieved.

Instead, we ventured down to the freezing lower floor of our house, where I tried to distract my little overachiever from teething on the side of the garbage can by turning on Sesame Street. This show was definately written with the idea that parents will primarily be the ones watching this, while their progeny toddle about the living room while talking on the remote control and vigorously vacuuming the dog with the toy popcorn popper. One thing that does catch her attention is Elmo, the newer, cuter version of Grover. When I was small, Bert and Ernie and Grover ran the show, with Big Bird, Snuffy, and Oscar the Grouch supporting. Now, there are all sorts of speech-impaired little monsters running amok. A bear muppet substitutes "W" sounds for both "R" and "L" sounds (developmentally appropriate for the age range they're targeting, but bothersome to be modeling nonetheless) and Elmo consistently refers to him(?)self in the third person.

Enough dallying, I suppose. Time to go work on the ol' cottage industry. Or, some more haus-frauery.

1 comment:

jvc said...

if we vote on the issues then we can replace the president with a computer model that makes decisions based on the election results.